Kirsten Schofield recently wrote an interesting ditty in Cosmopolitan magazine titled "17 Best Things about Being from the South," and I applaud her efforts. She compiled a great list....
Bourbon. Seersucker. Y'all.
1.Y’all. We remain the only linguistic region in all of Christendom who has solved the problem of the second-person plural. Don’t even pretend like "you guys" covers it.
2. A devotion to manners. You’d simply rather perish than neglect to send a thank-you note, and your mother would teach you a lesson, young lady, if she heard you wore white shoes after Labor Day like some kind of monster. Also, there is no second date for the gentleman (“gentleman”) who neglects to pull out your chair.
4. Very, very passive aggression. Bless your heart.
5. Parties. Between the Kentucky Derby, Bonnaroo, Mardi Gras, SXSW, and Talladega, we’ve got your bucket list covered.
6. Weird superstitions. You don’t even like hoppin’ john but don’t want to chance not eating it on New Years Day. You could die.
7. Big-ass hair. Look, it’s humid. As everyone knows, the higher the hair, the closer to God. Right, Dolly?
8. Extreme friendliness. You know your mailman’s name, you chat with your bank teller about her mother’s well-being, you slow down traffic to let a stranger into your lane, and you cannot help but give anyone even remotely lost-looking directions.
9. The great unknown: doorknobs. If you’re a lady from the South, there’s absolutely no way you know what one of those feels like. I swear, I start to reach for one and boys come running from nowhere to make sure I’m not burdened with opening it for myself.
11. Boy ankles. They’re on display from Memorial Day to Labor Day and are a sign that the universe is as it ought to be.
12. The heat. Yeah, it’s miserable, but there’s a solid three weeks from mid-July to early August where no one expects you to do anything but complain about theheat and drink lemonade and you can basically show up to work in a bikini.
13. Sorghum. Molasses, honeysuckle, cane syrup, orange blossom honey. Who the hell needs Splenda when you’ve got options like that?
15. Day-drinking. In Des Moines, this is called “alcoholism,” but in Charleston, it’s just a nice Saturday afternoon with your grandparents.
16. Day-drinking on the swing on your screen porch. See above, only it’s at your own personal house.
17. Immediate sisterhood with the girl from Nashville whom you met on a trip to [insert non-Southern location]. Who cares if you’re from Mobile? In Chicago, that girl from Raleigh that you don’t even like that much is as good as family.
However I wonder if Kirsten Schofield is from the south? She left off some off the BEST reasons. I can't speak for all southerners, but in middle Tennessee....
18. Love of God, Momma, America, and the Constitution. Especially our 2nd amendment rights.
19. Beautiful, Talented and Recognizable neighbors. Brad Paisley and Kimberly Williams Paisley live just down the street and frequent concerts at Carnton Plantation with their friend Sheryl Crow. And Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman and the girls are just over in Brentwood, seen often eating sushi or shopping at REI. Kenny Chesney lives up on the hill on one side of the house, with Cal Turner (co-founder of Dollar General) on the hill on the other side. Heck, even Oprah is in town visiting her daddy Vernon. Celebrities don't just own homes or record in middle Tennessee, they live here, play here, and are involved in the community. Dierks Bentley plays on my brother's men's community hockey team. Go Mad Cows!!
21. SEC Football. And tailgating. Autumn in the south is magical.
22. Sweet Tea. Tablewine of the South.
23. Coca-Cola. Champaign of the South.
24. Antebellum Mansions. Southerners love their history and heritage. The county I live in alone has more than 1500 buildings that are 100 years old or older still in use today. Several are public, but the majority are privately owned and still full of Great Grandma's silver, china, and proudly displaying Great Great Great Grandpa's sword he carried during the War of Northern Agression. November 30 of this year marks the 150th Anniversary of the Battle of Franklin. Commemerations, re-enactments, candle-lighting ceremonies and other special events are planned and have been in the works for several years.
25. Barbeque. I'm not just talking about the 14 foot grill pulled behind my sister-in-law's truck, if you want BBQ you can find it on any given day just about anywhere. Kroger has a grill and smoker going in the parketing lot on most weekends, and Piggly Wiggly offers smoked ribs daily. And with 2 sides and corn bread for less than $6.
26. Ponytails. Perfectly acceptable hairstyle in the south.
27. Garden and Gun magazine. Jus' sayin'
28-1,000,000,000. These are the secrets, but we're happy to share. I don't want to give away all the mystery and beauty that is the south. Come for a visit and figure these out on your own. We'll leave the front porch light on for you!